30 rules for moms with daughters.

1. Be an example to her. Avoid media outlets. Bad tv (98% of tv), tabloid magazines, and radio stations. Don't waste your time on entertainment and she won't. There are so many important things to do in a day, don't waste time & thought on celebrities.

2. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch them off. Teach her to care about her appearance, but not to focus on it, define her worth by it, or let it run her life. Let her put your makeup on - even if it means red smudged lips and streaked blue eyelids. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you.

3. Let her be. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or travel the world. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own. She may be completely different from you in looks and personality. Embrace her for who she is and raise her according to her needs.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile. Show it to her as often as possible.

5. Encourage her to pick out her own clothes. If she would rather wear polka dots with stripes, or if she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide and be confident in her decision. Actions speak louder than words - as a mother, make wise choices in choosing your outfits and teach your daughters the importance of conservatism and how it pleases God, honors your husband, and represents Christ to others. Teach her how to respect herself and others by covering up. She will value what you value if you lead by example.

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman are strong. Find and follow your own passions and hobbies. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be or by whats considered 'normal' in this world. Be in the world ,but not OF the world. Know who you are as a person, a woman. Find your identity in being a child of God, and help your daughter find all that out too.

7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower. 

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls : just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models to look up to. You being the main influence. Introduce her to influential godly woman, and let her see that you value worthy qualities in other women. The fruits of the spirit are priceless tools to better the kingdom. Monitor who spends time with her wisely.

10. Pray with her daily. Not just when you're seeking God's help for yourself or others, but when you're thankful and filled with joy too! Don't let her think God is a fairy tale genie - there to give her whatever she wants. Teach her to love Jesus as a close friend, and encourage her to talk to him whenever she wants to. Teach her the importance and beauty of communicating with God, and when she sees a selfless prayer answered her faith will be set on fire. 

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always - this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test at age 7, a big game or recital, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether she is all dressed up, immediately after a basketball game where she is sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance.

14. Love her father. Teach her to look for a God-fearing, good, honest, hard-working man like him. One who will let her be herself and love her for it. 

15. Make forts with boxes and blankets when she wants to. They are only young once, and before you know it, that window is closed.

16. Read to her. And read with enthusiasm! Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Reading those favorite books of hers with her mama will be one of her most treasured memories. Let her see you reading your bible, and how you treasure it. Read her the stories and explain their meaning and importance.

17. Teach her how to love. - with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Hug often. Express your love, and say "I love you" as much as you can. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. 

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her - even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy's feet and spin in your arms. Find joy in music with her. Introduce her to classics like The Eagles and James Taylor. Share the beauty of music together, it will bring you closer - or at least create a soundtrack to your life together. Show her how to express love and thanksgiving to God by singing his praises with joy. 

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about everything. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. Be her friend too, but keep the balance between discipline and love. Avoid those "rebellious" years by continually communicating with her. Explain why you discipline when necessary, and that it is because you love her. Never discipline when angry. 

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. And lead by example. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. She is worthy of respect. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because more often than not you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and just walk away. Teach her that words are powerful. Teach her to be the bigger person, and to turn the other cheek. Be careful of what you say around her - she listens to each word you say. Avoid anything close to petty gossip in your own personal conversations, and she will do like you.

22. Teach her the value of money. Let her see your wise financial decisions, and teach her to be thrifty. To be creative. To get a lot from a little. Teach her what hard work entails. Teach her not to indulge in pricy worldly items as girls do. They are a waste of time and temporary. They can't come with us, and should not be a priority.

23. Be healthy. Make healthy eating choices around her and get off the couch! Run around with her, play tag, ride bikes. Our bodies are gifts from God and we should take care of them. Lead by example and start those activities at a young age, it will help keep you young too, mom!

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets - no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. 

25. Be home. Don't let work or hobbies or anything else come before the well-being of your child : ever. Keep your priorities straight. When she is sick with a cold or broken hearted, she will come to you : welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news : embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you : find her and help her find her way back home to God again. When she needs advice on anything, tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor - where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile: be home. 

26. Teach humility. Show her how to serve others and put them before yourself. Laziness is the work of the enemy. Teach her to look for work and to be helpful - not a burden. This is truly one of the best gifts you can give her and will help her as a mother and a wife and a person in general in the future.

27. Let her help you. Whatever you're doing, involve her. If you're cleaning, give her a broom. If you're painting, give her a brush. If you're weeding, give her some gloves. If you're baking, let her add ingredients and stir. I don't care if she is 1 year old, and she is actually making it messier than it was before. She wants to be with you and do what you're doing. She wants to please you and feel like she's contributing. Give her that satisfaction! Don't ever tell her she's not old enough or big enough to help you with something. Find a way to make it work.

28. Dismiss gossip. Always pay attention to your conversations with other people. Make sure you glorify God with your choice of words. Never let her hear you gossip or talk badly about another. If she never hears you do it, she likely will not either. Treat others the way you'd want to be treated. 

Ephesians 4:29 - Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

29. Be happy. No matter how much money you have, be content. Don't complain, or nag to your husband in front of her. Teach her that money does not equal happiness, this life is temporary and that her treasure truly is in heaven.

30. Make memories. She will remember her childhood in ways that you will not. Give her great fun memories of times filled with laughter and happiness. Don't ever think it's too late or she's too old, because before you know it, she will be.

 I originally saw this on www.diapersdaisies.com but I changed a few of them!!!

my son.

A few weeks ago I asked Mike, "Don't you just LOVE that little boy?" 

He responded, 

"Of course I love him. But, I dont know… that Bella… she's got my heart." 

I almost melted.

And barfed.

Sometimes Bella drives me to within an inch of my sanity as she has taken terrible 2's to a whole new level. I was caught off guard - I didn't see those words coming.

Before having my own kids, I wasn't convinced there was a definable bond between mothers and sons, or fathers and daughters. But let me tell you, seven months in of knowing my little boy Beau - there is. And it is so permeating, indulging, and just plain wonderful. 

A few weeks ago, I couldn't help but notice the small interactions between my husband and his only son, and feel a little let down. I guess I've just always had this picture in my mind of a strong bond between father and son and wanted to see it in action. Already? I know. Beau was only 6 months, but I still wanted it. When we found out we were having a boy I wanted to see Mike jump up and down with joy! Someone to fish with! Someone to play sports with! What father doesn't want a little boy? But in return I only got a small smile. What?!?! Aren't you so excited?! 

"Yeah of course! I've always wanted a son…..but am I going to be able to cuddle with him and love him like Bella? I just can't imagine. There's just nothing like a little girl."

Of course I want to watch my husband teach my son things, see them build and fix things together. See him welled up with pride at his son's accomplishments and to see my son seek the approval of his dad. Is this not every mother's dream? 

Just to watch my son watch my husband and to watch my husband watch my son. 

And to sit and know that I gave my husband this little boy, this little treasure. 

Not in a proud way, just a knowing way. 

And now that Beau is here I just want to see my husband show "the boy" (as his nickname has come to be) the same affection that I have for him. I don't love him more or less than Bella, but just differently. I believe the love for your sons and the love for your daughters is separate and necessary. Children need to be loved by both their mother and father, and I know God designed the marriage of a man and a woman perfectly.

The way I see Beau (my expectations and hopes, my idea, my attachment, my perception…) is different from Mike's. How can this be? We met him the same, came to know his face the same, to see his personality the same. Yet, this newborn is dependent on mama  … I'm his mother, and right now … he wants ME. He needs me. It makes me feel so loved. So wanted.  It is the feeling only a mother feels. Bella was a newborn once too, I haven't forgotten. It is a sudden realization of … wait a minute. I can't just do stupid things anymore .. I'm not just here for me …It's not about me. I've got this treasure who wants me there by his side. 

You know when babies just cry just to cry? All their physical & emotional needs are met, and they just cry to cry. When Bella did it … I could handle it. (surprising for a first child) I'd let her cry it out because I didn't want her thinking I'd run to her rescue at each peep she made. Then she'd cry all the time!!! No one wants a little spoiled girl, and I figured I'd start her out right. Life is tough for a girl… figured I'd better get her used to it right off the bat!

But with Beau, it's just not so easy for me. Maybe because he isn't a big complainer, and cries a lot less … but I don't know! He's just my boy - I can't stand to see him sad.

Because this baby's body was created within mine, I now can literally see 'being created in God's image' at work in my life. Jeremiah 1:5

'Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee…"

My physical, temporary body is able to create another person, another soul .. one that will last forever. A person to be loved and a soul to be saved by Christ. All because of our Lord. Wow, what a God we have to TRUST US with this ability! With this responsibility ... 

This connection between us and our children is not far from how we are bound to our creator. Yet, people continue to deny this feeling, this truth, this CREATOR. It is as unnatural as a newborn denying their mother.

They convince themselves that money can save them…
worldly things can save them….
they can save themselves…..
or even worse… they. don't. need. to. be. saved.

The crazy thought in my mind is : why deny the love, that undeserving grace?!! Why hold all the weight on your shoulders and figure it out yourself? I just can't wrap my mind around this. Why turn away from open arms that reach toward you and say "I love you my child. I've got great plans for you."

How can someone choose this world over eternity - this short life.

I want Beau to grow up strong and do good things. 

Great things I hope. Just as Christ wants for all of us. 

And I want to help, encourage and enable him any way that I can so he can know and love Jesus the way I do.

Of course I have the same hopes for Bella too.

I can barely believe it. When did this happen? I have a little man of my own to shape and mold into the kind of man a great woman would want to marry. 

The kind of man I grew up looking for. 

What an honor, and a responsibility God has bestowed upon me and 

one I do not take lightly. 

Boy. This boy. My boy. He has taken ahold of my heart and changed me from the inside out.